Overheard at the Paper Shop

After a decade in such a fun place, doing the same thing day in and day out, you have a tendency to get ... punchy once in a while.  You also have many an opportunity to overheard, be part of or totally misinterpret conversations.  Here are just a few that made us chuckle.

Us - "What is your preference? ALStar or Safari?"
Guest - "Safari".
Us - "Why"? Is it the weight? The thickness of the grip"?
Guest - "NO!" "It's because I can chew the cap!"

"You seem like a fine nib girl".

"That ink lays so well on paper, kind of like melted butter on a tablecloth".

"I am looking for ink that is thick. Like really thick. Chocolatey colour. Like runny nutella".

Guest holding a black blank notebook in hand - "Do you sell notebooks"? Not like this one, but like this one only reversed"?
Us - "Do you mean in colour?"
Guest - "NO!" "Like opening from the back!"
Us - "Oh, you mean like this (as we flip the book over)".
Guest - "THATS IT!"

Guest discussing being a NEW penpal - "If I had a dollar for every time someone mailed me a nice letter, I would have 1 buck".

"No one appreciates nor can identify fine writing paper. What is the problem? Why is this not taught is school"?

Guest - "I am looking for waterproof decorative paper"? Kind of with a plastic coating".
Us - "What is your use for it"? Sounds like an interesting project".
Guest - "My kids hamster cage is ugly. I want to put it in the bottom of the cage".

Guest Standing in front of greeting card rack - "Do you sell greeting cards"?

Guest 1 - "Bad food choices. Not going to bed early enough. Late night deadlines. It has all contributed to my cycladic rythum being all messed up".
Guest 2 - "Oh, is that what that's called! Yea, I need to get me one of those".

"Lined paper is so 2012. Dot grid is the new black"!

"I'm disappointed that they never actually told me how to get to Sesame Street".

Guest - "I hate you guys & love you at the same time. Really, I love you & the shop. It's my husbands wallet that hates you".

Guest passing with friends going for dinner - "Oh my god. Go on without me, I don't need to eat. In fact, (looking at Us) do you have an adoption program"?

4 groomsmen enter while the limo is double parked - "Quick, you need to save us ... where are your wedding cards & pens"?

Guest - "Paper is for a 1st Anniversary, right"?
Us - "Yes it is".
Guest - "Great! How is this card"? (holding out a sympathy card)

Guest - "Now that I'm a student, I need elephant shaped paper clips".

Guest - "Once or twice seems about right. My life goals include a equal distribution of cake".

Guest - "You guys need to change your name to CRACK." "Cause, I'm addicted. Your my dealer!"

I put "away at Soul Paper" as my out of office.  That way, those that know, know not to call.  It's my personal time.

Guest - "I need a sucky thing".
Us - "Do you mean soother? Or a converter?".
Guest - "I'd take both at this point!".

Guest walks into shop and over shoulder says to second guest following behind - "It's Soul Paper you weirdo!".

Guest - "so you like your coffee strong?".
Guest 2 - "so strong that it should show up on a drug test!".